The school year has closed and I have completed another semester of pursuing a Bachelor of Arts (or artium baccalaureus if you're not into that whole brevity thing) in history and economics at the flagship, land grant University of Wisconsin, located in the Badger State's own pristine capitol of Madison. In fact, I like learning so much I am taking a class this summer, MATH 112, or algebra.
History and Economics are the quintessential humanity and social science (your opinion may vary,) thus it doesn't seem too strange that a large university like mine would have them. But what about the dozens of other majors offered? Just what are the more peculiar ones? After a run through the website's list, I produced some of the courses of study that even your odd cousin Julius with the forearm tattoos, a photography lab in his basement, and an a-symmetrical haircut wouldn't touch.
- Agricultural Journalism (recently renamed Life Sciences Communication)
Corn has ears, somebody has to talk to them. As well, somebody needs to report about the price of pork rinds and orange juice concentrate in the commodity market.
- School of Education majors: Polish, Hebrew,
I could under why somebody would want to major in Hebrew, Israel is kind of a big deal in the international relations, and classical Hebrew is necessary for critical biblical studies. I could understand Polish, its a decent country in Eastern Europe, and knowledge of the language may help with international business. What I don't understand as much, what is the incentive to major in secondary education of Polish/Hebrew? I don't know about where you live, but there aren't too many Jewish schools in Wisconsin, and even so, they would be private, not needing a degree in education. What schools teach Polish and Hebrew? Where are they? I have heard of Chinese, German, Spanish, French, Latin, even Portuguese (which has almost as many speakers as Spanish, by the way) but really where do they teach Polish and Hebrew in a school setting?
- Retailing
I had no idea retail is a verb. I retail, you retail, he, she, it retails. I sense that retailing majors are business majors types that realize that they actually want to work in retail, and aren't majoring in business because they don't know what to major in.
- Poultry Science
Being a vegetarian, I am despised by all animal science majors. Go on, keep on hating, but these chickens will not be entombed in my body.
- Material Culture Studies (Certificate)
In high school, I took AP Language and Composition, a composition class taught by a woman that I assumed was bitter that she never achieved a prime job as a newspaper reporter. One day the class started talking about tabloids and their exploitation of celebrities, especially how Madonna sued one for false reporting. I sighed loudly and said, "It's a material world." After a second, the class starting laughing.
- Supply Chain Management (Certificate)
This sounds like a joke, imagine if somebody majored in retail and received a certificate in Supply Chain management. This person, let's call her Wendy, gets a managerial position at Best Buy. Somebody walks up to her.
WENDY: Sir, may I help you?
ANGRY CUSTOMER: My God! Does anybody know anything around here?
WENDY: I'm sure I can help you, what is the issue?
ANGRY CUSTOMER: It's just, seriously, did anybody here go to college?
WENDY: Well, sir, I did. I majored in Retailing with a minor in supply chain management.
ANGRY CUSTOMER: (Laughs) nice one. I got a double major in barbecuing and Jack Daniel's appreciation. Once again, my visit to Best Buy has proven that everybody that works in retail is a failure at life (walks away.)
WENDY: But I'm still paying off my student loans! (Pause) I don't think I'm a failure at life.
School is fun. Learning is great. Don't be afraid of double majoring.
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