Back in Eighth Grade, I read a book by the title of Barry Trotter and the Unauthorized Parody. It was about a step below anything you could read in the Mad Magazine, but my 14-year-old self found it absolutely hysterical. I read it in March, and with Easter Break coming up at the end of the month, it became my mission to create an epic book report movie all about Barry Trotter. I had no friends, no homework, and certainly no obligations, but I had a tripod, and an idea; once break began, I started video taping everyday.
Even though break was over March, it was still snowy and frost covered in my old town. The shot I remember most involved a pan of the frozen lake by my house. The camera becomes stationary, secured on the tripod, and I walk in front of the plane of vision. Turning to the camera, I say, "Barry Trotter is kind of like throwing a rock on an icy lake." I bend over to pick up a rock and throw it over the lake. It skids for quite a distance before coming to a stop. I turn back to the camera and say, "I don't really know how, though."
That was absurd.
I rode my bicycle on a rural road far away from my home several times when I was in high school. The road twisted around lakes, ridges, woods, farmlands, golf courses and small towns. To bicycle that marathon-length distance was to take me into the middle of the next county north. As I returned back home for Thanksgiving, I was filled with an urge to return to the off-the-beaten-path path. I drive along with a car this time, and stop by the docks of a secluded little lake. It was a cold November day, and the rim of the lake, but not the center, were frozen with about an inch of ice. I picked up a small rock and threw it underhand, seeing if I could skid it all the way to the watery center. The sound of the rock skidding sounded like an alien laser gun, increasing its pitch as it slid closer to the center. I continued to throw rock onto the lake to hear how they sounded.
That was absurd.
Currently I am reading the classic essay "The Myth of Sisyphus" by French-Algerian philosopher Albert Camus. The thesis of the piece seems to be that life is absurd, but it is a paradox we must accept. Therefore suicide is not an option. Camus, whose name is pronounced CAM-MOO as I have come to learn, kept on writing about absurdity in life. I wonder what a Francophone dweller like himself perceived as being absurd. What was the first "absurd" thing that popped into his head? He probably didn't think about icy lakes. Did he think about the evolutionary mechanisms that produced platypuses? Did he think about how erratic traffic in Paris was?
If somebody is going to tell me that life is absurd, I want to know what things are considered by the writer as absurd, because I see absurd things all the time. It's my life as it is.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Favorite Foods by Color
There was a time in my formative years when I worked at McDonald's. One of the soft drinks that the fast food behemoth offers is the Gadorade knock-off Powerade, coming in an icy blue color. One day, a costumer asked what it tasted like, to which a co-worker responded, "It tastes like blue." I could not think of a more perfect answer to explain the artificial adult Kool-Aid essence of the drink. This got me thinking about the colors of food, thus I decided to declare my favorite foods by color. If you notice the lack of meat on the chart, it is because I am a vegetarian.
Red- Rhubarb Tart Pie (Runner up: raspberries)
Orange- Carrots (Runner up: Thousand Island dressing)
Yellow- Humas (Oranges. Yes, in my experience, good oranges usually have more of a yellow tinge to them than orange oranges. Honey suckle oranges don't have quite as crisp a texture as yellowish oranges.)
Green- Burritos with green tortillas (Runner up: pickles) (Second runner up: sugar snap green beans)
Blue- Blue flavored frozen Go-Gurt (There really is no blue-colored food, so I had to pick something artificial. Blue is the color of dye, of synthetic food that has that "Futuristic" taste to it.)
Indigo- Greek yogurt with blueberries mixed in.
Violet- Blueberries. Fresh blueberries
Black- Black beans
Dark Brown- Potatoes
Light Brown- Bread (In my junior year of high school, I wrote a 10 page research paper for my composition class all about bread. Perhaps the best part of the project was the title, "Bread: Water Incarnate Solid." I do not believe anybody will ever create a high school paper with a better title.)
White- Oatmeal
Red- Rhubarb Tart Pie (Runner up: raspberries)
Orange- Carrots (Runner up: Thousand Island dressing)
Yellow- Humas (Oranges. Yes, in my experience, good oranges usually have more of a yellow tinge to them than orange oranges. Honey suckle oranges don't have quite as crisp a texture as yellowish oranges.)
Green- Burritos with green tortillas (Runner up: pickles) (Second runner up: sugar snap green beans)
Blue- Blue flavored frozen Go-Gurt (There really is no blue-colored food, so I had to pick something artificial. Blue is the color of dye, of synthetic food that has that "Futuristic" taste to it.)
Indigo- Greek yogurt with blueberries mixed in.
Violet- Blueberries. Fresh blueberries
Black- Black beans
Dark Brown- Potatoes
Light Brown- Bread (In my junior year of high school, I wrote a 10 page research paper for my composition class all about bread. Perhaps the best part of the project was the title, "Bread: Water Incarnate Solid." I do not believe anybody will ever create a high school paper with a better title.)
White- Oatmeal
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
I Had a Sign
Have you ever had a sign before? Some sort of occurrence out of the ordinary that seemed to tell you something? I had one not too long ago.
I attended an information session on writing an undergraduate thesis in history, the session being held on the 5th floor of the building. Afterward, I descended the stairs, filled with thoughts of whether this would be a good idea or not. A strange sound echoed through the stairwell. I soon discovered that a waterfall of urine-tainted water flowed like a waterfall directly in front of the door to exit the Humanities Building at the third floor. If one wanted to exit through this door, I had to walk through the water pouring through the ceiling. Ideally, one would want to exit the building at the third floor, because it gives one access to several bridges over different roads and to other buildings. I soon realized that this was a sign.
Right now, I am at the top of the Humanities Building, learning the theoretical workings of the world from the best. If I choose to write a thesis, my goal is to create a piece of original research in the field with the intent of advancing the base of knowledge in the world. I want to learn from the top, descend the staircase of academia, and then enter the "real world" at the highest position, one where I would be able to move as freely as possible to different areas, as if I had access to a set of bridges. To exit on top, I would have to write a strong thesis, a difficult task, one much like walking through a waterfall of urine-tainted water. I would not have to write a thesis, I could get by with minimal effort and exit the Humanities building at the second or first level, but I want to exit on top. Thus, this was a sign that there is pain in the attempt to gain, craft, and distribute knowledge, but the task is a worthwhile one, even if it includes walking through a sewage leak.
I did not actually walk through the water on that particular day. The allegorical meaning was fine enough.
I attended an information session on writing an undergraduate thesis in history, the session being held on the 5th floor of the building. Afterward, I descended the stairs, filled with thoughts of whether this would be a good idea or not. A strange sound echoed through the stairwell. I soon discovered that a waterfall of urine-tainted water flowed like a waterfall directly in front of the door to exit the Humanities Building at the third floor. If one wanted to exit through this door, I had to walk through the water pouring through the ceiling. Ideally, one would want to exit the building at the third floor, because it gives one access to several bridges over different roads and to other buildings. I soon realized that this was a sign.
Right now, I am at the top of the Humanities Building, learning the theoretical workings of the world from the best. If I choose to write a thesis, my goal is to create a piece of original research in the field with the intent of advancing the base of knowledge in the world. I want to learn from the top, descend the staircase of academia, and then enter the "real world" at the highest position, one where I would be able to move as freely as possible to different areas, as if I had access to a set of bridges. To exit on top, I would have to write a strong thesis, a difficult task, one much like walking through a waterfall of urine-tainted water. I would not have to write a thesis, I could get by with minimal effort and exit the Humanities building at the second or first level, but I want to exit on top. Thus, this was a sign that there is pain in the attempt to gain, craft, and distribute knowledge, but the task is a worthwhile one, even if it includes walking through a sewage leak.
I did not actually walk through the water on that particular day. The allegorical meaning was fine enough.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Unanswered Questions in Harry Potter
As I write this, the film Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part I stormed the box office with a 125 million dollar domestic gross. This is the seventh film in a franchise, and it's still making bank. There is something about this whole "Harry Potter" thing.
For one, this is the book series that got Generation Y/The Millennials reading. Books can seem a fairly intimidating thing: long, no pictures, characters you have to memorize, and so forth. Sometimes it takes just one book to make you realize that reading is enjoyable. The Young Adult Supernatural Romance genre does this for giddy girls, Fight Club did this for Nihlistic stoners, the works of Michael Crichton did this for people that wanted to believe dinosaurs could roam the earth again.For me, it was the obscure philosophical/social satire Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions. But we all liked Harry Potter.
Also, Harry Potter is the biggest cultural phenomenon since the Beatles that did not come from America. I enjoyed reading a different prospective on the world, and especially seeing the films made with a British cast. I used to wonder if the rest of the world ever got annoyed with how America sends all of its movies overseas, but Americans rarely ever see foreign films. Harry Potter is one time when Americans ate up a different country's production.
Having written all that, there are some things about the Harry Potter franchise that still don't make any sense to me.
-One of the most original concepts from HP was the idea that Wizards seem to live together, or at least in close contact and affiliation. This raises the question, how would a Wizard/Witch economy work? The existence of magic as a way to manipulate production would eliminate any physical labor jobs. The only jobs detailed involve working for the government, retail, and print media, this seems pretty limiting. Do Witches and Wizards ever work at muggle companies? Usually Witches and Wizards in fiction fill a niche in their community, but don't form the community itself. This is like if everybody in the world was educated exclusively in chemical engineering, how could society work? Which brings up my next question...
-Why doesn't Hogwarts teach anything not directly magic related? How do the students understand non-magic history, math, English composition, and other traditional liberal arts fields if all they ever seem to learn about is magic? Hogwarts sounds like a tech school more than anything. Wouldn't it be much more efficient for young witches and wizards to apprentice under a professional than run a giant school for only about 800 students, or can things like heating and plumbing be solved purely with magic?
-How does tuition at Hogwarts work? Is it a public or a private institution? Do they have scholarship funds?
-Imagine for one moment that you are 11 years old. You have friends and a school and whatnot. You receive a letter in the mail telling you that not only do witches and wizards exist, but you are one of them, but the rest of your family are muggles. You are all excited to leave, but you have one problem, what do you tell your friends? You are going to a boarding school, but you can't tell them any of the details, much less what you've learned. Do you just stop being friends with them or what? What do your parents tell their co-workers?
-Did anybody laugh the way I did when Dumbledore died in the film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince? Specifically, it was that Dumbledore was shot and fell out of a window almost exactly like how Snape was shot and fell out of a window in Die Hard. Yippie-Kii-Eh, Mudblood!
For one, this is the book series that got Generation Y/The Millennials reading. Books can seem a fairly intimidating thing: long, no pictures, characters you have to memorize, and so forth. Sometimes it takes just one book to make you realize that reading is enjoyable. The Young Adult Supernatural Romance genre does this for giddy girls, Fight Club did this for Nihlistic stoners, the works of Michael Crichton did this for people that wanted to believe dinosaurs could roam the earth again.For me, it was the obscure philosophical/social satire Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions. But we all liked Harry Potter.
Also, Harry Potter is the biggest cultural phenomenon since the Beatles that did not come from America. I enjoyed reading a different prospective on the world, and especially seeing the films made with a British cast. I used to wonder if the rest of the world ever got annoyed with how America sends all of its movies overseas, but Americans rarely ever see foreign films. Harry Potter is one time when Americans ate up a different country's production.
Having written all that, there are some things about the Harry Potter franchise that still don't make any sense to me.
-One of the most original concepts from HP was the idea that Wizards seem to live together, or at least in close contact and affiliation. This raises the question, how would a Wizard/Witch economy work? The existence of magic as a way to manipulate production would eliminate any physical labor jobs. The only jobs detailed involve working for the government, retail, and print media, this seems pretty limiting. Do Witches and Wizards ever work at muggle companies? Usually Witches and Wizards in fiction fill a niche in their community, but don't form the community itself. This is like if everybody in the world was educated exclusively in chemical engineering, how could society work? Which brings up my next question...
-Why doesn't Hogwarts teach anything not directly magic related? How do the students understand non-magic history, math, English composition, and other traditional liberal arts fields if all they ever seem to learn about is magic? Hogwarts sounds like a tech school more than anything. Wouldn't it be much more efficient for young witches and wizards to apprentice under a professional than run a giant school for only about 800 students, or can things like heating and plumbing be solved purely with magic?
-How does tuition at Hogwarts work? Is it a public or a private institution? Do they have scholarship funds?
-Imagine for one moment that you are 11 years old. You have friends and a school and whatnot. You receive a letter in the mail telling you that not only do witches and wizards exist, but you are one of them, but the rest of your family are muggles. You are all excited to leave, but you have one problem, what do you tell your friends? You are going to a boarding school, but you can't tell them any of the details, much less what you've learned. Do you just stop being friends with them or what? What do your parents tell their co-workers?
-Did anybody laugh the way I did when Dumbledore died in the film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince? Specifically, it was that Dumbledore was shot and fell out of a window almost exactly like how Snape was shot and fell out of a window in Die Hard. Yippie-Kii-Eh, Mudblood!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Nerd vs. Geek vs. Dork
One of the most wonderful things about the English Language is the sheer number of words. With all sorts of synonyms for basic concepts, each word is nuanced, allowing for a very tight definition. Given that, there are so many insults, but too often are poorly understood.
The Nerd vs. Geek vs. Dork divide is one of the deepest. Within these three words are three different concepts that everybody understands, but are frequently expressed with the wrong word. I'm here to set the record straight:
Nerd-A person of great intelligence, but almost always in an academic field. Nobody would ever call a mechanic or a carpenter a nerd; One would call a medieval history enthusiast, a chemical physicist, an abstract mathematics devotee, and especially a computer wizard etc. The heavy implication of this practical/theoretical field of interest divide is that the nerd, in their love and interested in their field, limits their social interaction and people skill. The term nerd can to some people become a term of endearment, emphasizing their love of academics. Most important, a nerd MUST by knowledgeable, socially inept usually, but not required.
Geek-The word originally referred to a bizarre circus performer that did things like biting the head off of a live chicken (to paraphrase "Hey Arnold," "Why do they call us geeks? None of us to that, except for Eugene" "And it was only that one time!") This is where we find the divide in Nerd vs. Geek. A geek does not need to be intelligent in an academic sense, rather the geek is usually more extroverted than the nerd, although not necessary any more socially conscious. The defining feature of the geek is the dedication to a facet of geek culture. Comic books, video games, anime/manga, obscure movies, star trek and other sci fi, fantasy fiction, role-playing games, Magic the Gathering, music (these then bleeds into the hipster), Jane Austin novels, and so on and so forth. Geek culture is something that exists in a post-modern age of irony, self-awareness, and the meeting of high and low culture.
Dork-As of the time of writing, some controversy arose over the trailer to the film "The Dilemma," staring the doughy 6'5'' leading man Vince Vaugn, who makes a comment stating "Electric cars are gay." Beyond any question of whether this is homophobic, the more accurate term would be "dorky." Dorkiness includes the worst of both the nerd and the geek. The dork is not necessarily as intelligent as the nerd, and does not have the sort of ironic, self-depreciate humor of the geek, or the collective culture that comes along with a geek's interests; the dork fails to be trendy, misunderstanding all that is cool. At its root, the dork is the image of your parents, a generation behind, and blissfully ignorant of the various fashion and cultural reference faux pas being committed. The dork is the guy in high school that wears a boy scout uniform unironically (no offense to troopers out there;) the dork is the person that wears flag t-shirts when it's not the fourth of July; the dork gets a bowl cut; the dork gets a comb-over; the dork wears birth control goggles; the nerd reads Dostoevsky and Proust; the dork wears socks with sandals; the geek attends anime conventions; the geek grows their hair like a graduate student; the nerd attempts to explain those math formulas where you prove that 0=1; the nerd is Rivers Cuomo, Steve Jobs; the geek is the japanophile girl at the back of your class, mc chris, Kevin Smith; the dork is the aesthetic of Christian broadcasting channels, the father that refers to his pants as "slacks," and anybody that unironically grows a mustache (except Frieda, she's OK.)
The Nerd vs. Geek vs. Dork divide is one of the deepest. Within these three words are three different concepts that everybody understands, but are frequently expressed with the wrong word. I'm here to set the record straight:
Nerd-A person of great intelligence, but almost always in an academic field. Nobody would ever call a mechanic or a carpenter a nerd; One would call a medieval history enthusiast, a chemical physicist, an abstract mathematics devotee, and especially a computer wizard etc. The heavy implication of this practical/theoretical field of interest divide is that the nerd, in their love and interested in their field, limits their social interaction and people skill. The term nerd can to some people become a term of endearment, emphasizing their love of academics. Most important, a nerd MUST by knowledgeable, socially inept usually, but not required.
Geek-The word originally referred to a bizarre circus performer that did things like biting the head off of a live chicken (to paraphrase "Hey Arnold," "Why do they call us geeks? None of us to that, except for Eugene" "And it was only that one time!") This is where we find the divide in Nerd vs. Geek. A geek does not need to be intelligent in an academic sense, rather the geek is usually more extroverted than the nerd, although not necessary any more socially conscious. The defining feature of the geek is the dedication to a facet of geek culture. Comic books, video games, anime/manga, obscure movies, star trek and other sci fi, fantasy fiction, role-playing games, Magic the Gathering, music (these then bleeds into the hipster), Jane Austin novels, and so on and so forth. Geek culture is something that exists in a post-modern age of irony, self-awareness, and the meeting of high and low culture.
Dork-As of the time of writing, some controversy arose over the trailer to the film "The Dilemma," staring the doughy 6'5'' leading man Vince Vaugn, who makes a comment stating "Electric cars are gay." Beyond any question of whether this is homophobic, the more accurate term would be "dorky." Dorkiness includes the worst of both the nerd and the geek. The dork is not necessarily as intelligent as the nerd, and does not have the sort of ironic, self-depreciate humor of the geek, or the collective culture that comes along with a geek's interests; the dork fails to be trendy, misunderstanding all that is cool. At its root, the dork is the image of your parents, a generation behind, and blissfully ignorant of the various fashion and cultural reference faux pas being committed. The dork is the guy in high school that wears a boy scout uniform unironically (no offense to troopers out there;) the dork is the person that wears flag t-shirts when it's not the fourth of July; the dork gets a bowl cut; the dork gets a comb-over; the dork wears birth control goggles; the nerd reads Dostoevsky and Proust; the dork wears socks with sandals; the geek attends anime conventions; the geek grows their hair like a graduate student; the nerd attempts to explain those math formulas where you prove that 0=1; the nerd is Rivers Cuomo, Steve Jobs; the geek is the japanophile girl at the back of your class, mc chris, Kevin Smith; the dork is the aesthetic of Christian broadcasting channels, the father that refers to his pants as "slacks," and anybody that unironically grows a mustache (except Frieda, she's OK.)
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Why Michael Jackson is Awesome
Michael Jackson's posthumous release "Michael" will be upon us next month. Personally, I am very much looking forward to hearing a new MJ album, the first since 2001's Invincible. Usually I'm not a music hipster-type, but I was into Michael Jackson way before he died, especially in that 2003-2005ish time when he was the running joke at my middle school. After his death, a number of people my age (I was born in 1990) re-discovered his music, and probably caught onto the very timeless quality of it. What makes makes Michael so good? There are so many factors, but I can pick out two immediately.
First, he never sang about going to the club. One narrow exception, he did have "Blood on the Dance Floor," but that song was about a mysterious "Manhunter"-type woman, not the overall experience (I think.) He did not have a "Let's go to the club, listen to music, hit on boys/girls, drink cough syrup, snort cocaine...etc. Instead, Michael Jackson's body of work contains a surprising wide number of themes. Take Thriller, the best selling album worldwide. The three songs that everybody remembers from it are Thriller, Billie Jean, and Beat It, which are still played frequently and loved by everybody that has a soul. Thriller is a horror song; Billie Jean is about accusations of fatherhood; Beat It is about gangs. Name one popular song, much less a dance song, about any of these themes (maybe the remix of Rob Zombie's "Dragula" for the former)? Look at his other hits, Bad (gangs), Black and White (racial harmony), Rock my World (love song), Remember the Time (May-December relationship), You Wanna be Startin' Something (fame), Scream (MJ's Childhood), Stranger in Moscow (the KGB), You Are Not Alone (loneliness support), Man in the Mirror (helping the poor), Don't Stop Til you Get Enough (sex), Really don't Care About Us (poverty), and Ben (a rat). Yes, Michael Jackson is the only person that can sing about a rat, and make it heartfelt.
This is my second point, MJ was able to sing about occult stuff in Thriller, despite being raised a Jehovah's Witness, being in a gang in Bad, despite wearing eyeliner on the album cover, and sexual interest in a woman in The Way You Make Me Feel, despite, well, looking really uncomfortable when Oprah asked if he was a virgin. Michael Jackson could sing about anything without it seeming "out of character." He was an actor as strong as a singer as strong as a dancer, and a fine one at all three of those things (no comment on his actual acting job in The Wiz.)
Long live MJ, let's hope the new album delights, and there are many more to come.
First, he never sang about going to the club. One narrow exception, he did have "Blood on the Dance Floor," but that song was about a mysterious "Manhunter"-type woman, not the overall experience (I think.) He did not have a "Let's go to the club, listen to music, hit on boys/girls, drink cough syrup, snort cocaine...etc. Instead, Michael Jackson's body of work contains a surprising wide number of themes. Take Thriller, the best selling album worldwide. The three songs that everybody remembers from it are Thriller, Billie Jean, and Beat It, which are still played frequently and loved by everybody that has a soul. Thriller is a horror song; Billie Jean is about accusations of fatherhood; Beat It is about gangs. Name one popular song, much less a dance song, about any of these themes (maybe the remix of Rob Zombie's "Dragula" for the former)? Look at his other hits, Bad (gangs), Black and White (racial harmony), Rock my World (love song), Remember the Time (May-December relationship), You Wanna be Startin' Something (fame), Scream (MJ's Childhood), Stranger in Moscow (the KGB), You Are Not Alone (loneliness support), Man in the Mirror (helping the poor), Don't Stop Til you Get Enough (sex), Really don't Care About Us (poverty), and Ben (a rat). Yes, Michael Jackson is the only person that can sing about a rat, and make it heartfelt.
This is my second point, MJ was able to sing about occult stuff in Thriller, despite being raised a Jehovah's Witness, being in a gang in Bad, despite wearing eyeliner on the album cover, and sexual interest in a woman in The Way You Make Me Feel, despite, well, looking really uncomfortable when Oprah asked if he was a virgin. Michael Jackson could sing about anything without it seeming "out of character." He was an actor as strong as a singer as strong as a dancer, and a fine one at all three of those things (no comment on his actual acting job in The Wiz.)
Long live MJ, let's hope the new album delights, and there are many more to come.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Shorts with Words on the Butt
Clothing is a fascinating thing. Some of it is very functional, like steel-toed boots, other articles are purely aesthetic, the bow-tie. I have figured it out: Clothing is architecture for the human body. Clothing supports us where we are most sensitive, shields us from weather, and frames the body in an image. Clothing has style.
There is, however, one element of clothing I do not understand: shorts and sweatpants with words on the butt. More specifically, I do not understand why my high school's girls' athletic sweatpants and shorts had to have a message to preface the posterior, the worst being the tennis team's "Smack that!" and "Nice Ace!" My old town went up in arms about a Hooters franchise being opened, how did this not reach the school board?
I don't think there can be much argument that shorts and sweatpants with words on the butt are not sexual in their nature. They will, I can promise, attract eyes to one's backside. If this was the intent all along, than by all means, continue to grace the world behind you with "Angel Baby," "Juicy," etc. But by producing high school athletic clothing with the said messages, girls are being unfairly placed in a sexual situation they may not be comfortable with.
I think the solution is not banning the shorts/sweatpants with the words on the butt, but rather, mandating that the schools' boys' athletic wear have words on the butt, also. Once guys and girls walk through the halls with phrases like "Tap that" or even just the high school team's name, than the effect is de-sexualized. Ultimately, this can become empowering to women, because it gives them the opportunity to wear clothing with words on the butt without it automatically being "a slut."
Clothing can carry a message, and sometimes the only place you can fit that message is over your rear end.
There is, however, one element of clothing I do not understand: shorts and sweatpants with words on the butt. More specifically, I do not understand why my high school's girls' athletic sweatpants and shorts had to have a message to preface the posterior, the worst being the tennis team's "Smack that!" and "Nice Ace!" My old town went up in arms about a Hooters franchise being opened, how did this not reach the school board?
I don't think there can be much argument that shorts and sweatpants with words on the butt are not sexual in their nature. They will, I can promise, attract eyes to one's backside. If this was the intent all along, than by all means, continue to grace the world behind you with "Angel Baby," "Juicy," etc. But by producing high school athletic clothing with the said messages, girls are being unfairly placed in a sexual situation they may not be comfortable with.
I think the solution is not banning the shorts/sweatpants with the words on the butt, but rather, mandating that the schools' boys' athletic wear have words on the butt, also. Once guys and girls walk through the halls with phrases like "Tap that" or even just the high school team's name, than the effect is de-sexualized. Ultimately, this can become empowering to women, because it gives them the opportunity to wear clothing with words on the butt without it automatically being "a slut."
Clothing can carry a message, and sometimes the only place you can fit that message is over your rear end.
Friday, November 12, 2010
A Name Just Evil Enough
The Dreamworks animated film "Megamind" opened last weekend, sharing with the Summer's release of "Despicable Me" the theme of having a supervillian as the main character. The fact that two different studios released very similar films is a testament to either the lack of creativity in Hollywood (which I may or may not believe in, stay tuned for new posts,) or the allure of the supervillain.
I believe it's the latter. Before comic books started getting darker and grittier, many of them had a vaudeville-esque goofiness and unintentional innocence. The whole notion of costumed superheros must be hard to take seriously if one were to objectively look at the material (perhaps the reason why 2008's The Dark Knight did not receive a "Best Picture" nomination?) But for whatever reason, we as culture love superheroes, and so frequently are the villains the best part of the show. Villains can be unrestrained, wildly eccentric, cunning, stylish, and much more interesting as characters. As tragic characters, we find them interesting because they are so great, but so flawed: compare Richard Nixon to George H.W. Bush. One of them is evil, but as complicated as a hypercube.
I was writing a play a about two months ago including a scene where a very politically-correct superhero is giving an address on PBS as a fundraiser. Coming up with his name was easy, "Magnificent Man." But thinking of what the villains would be called took a serious brain-wracking. A good villain, in my opinion, has to have a very operatic quality to them, the name then means quite a bit. Here's what I came up with: Krazy Karnage, Death Mistress, and Bloodlust.
The moral of the story is, if you are going to be evil, do it with style.
I believe it's the latter. Before comic books started getting darker and grittier, many of them had a vaudeville-esque goofiness and unintentional innocence. The whole notion of costumed superheros must be hard to take seriously if one were to objectively look at the material (perhaps the reason why 2008's The Dark Knight did not receive a "Best Picture" nomination?) But for whatever reason, we as culture love superheroes, and so frequently are the villains the best part of the show. Villains can be unrestrained, wildly eccentric, cunning, stylish, and much more interesting as characters. As tragic characters, we find them interesting because they are so great, but so flawed: compare Richard Nixon to George H.W. Bush. One of them is evil, but as complicated as a hypercube.
I was writing a play a about two months ago including a scene where a very politically-correct superhero is giving an address on PBS as a fundraiser. Coming up with his name was easy, "Magnificent Man." But thinking of what the villains would be called took a serious brain-wracking. A good villain, in my opinion, has to have a very operatic quality to them, the name then means quite a bit. Here's what I came up with: Krazy Karnage, Death Mistress, and Bloodlust.
The moral of the story is, if you are going to be evil, do it with style.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
The Christian Handicap
One day I check a DVD out from my local public library, the Clean Comedy Stand-Up Tour (please don't ask me why.) True to its name, the four comedians featured in the broadcast did not swear or discuss anything a young person wouldn't want to talk about with their parents. That's fine to me, but it suffered one problem, it wasn't that funny.
In the comedians' defense, broadcasts of live comedy acts usually lose something from the theatre, but this disappointing. Afterward, I realized why they advertised themselves as "The Clean Comedy Stand-Up Tour," its a handicap. There are famous clean comedians, Bill Cosby and Jerry Seinfeld come to mind immediately, but they never had to go out of their way to advertise their family-friendliness. These four aspiring comedians must have realized they could get a guaranteed audience as soon as they said it wouldn't include jokes about bestiality or Jack Kevorkian. It must have been too easy.
The other trick these guys had to sell themselves? They're "Christian Comedians." A segment of the DVD includes a specially message from the men explaining why they gave their life to Jesus Christ. Something about this doesn't sit right with me, was it necessary to explicitly state they are Christians, especially since none of their material makes reference to the saving power of Jesus Christ and the promise of eternal life? I'm an Episcopalian, and so is Robin Williams, and he doesn't find it necessary to curb his language for the sake of the show. When I was in high school, a laser tag arena opened near my house. The website had a page explaining how they are a Christian business. Christian laser tag? Were they afraid that the evangelical population of the town would think that Laser Tag was the work of Satan, and by having this explanation on their website was the only way to explain the faith behind their business? Jesus should not be a handicap.
The real irony of the Christian Comedy Tour is that the best joke was in the "Deleted Scenes" section of the DVD, which included the naughtier segments: "Some people ask me, 'are you pro-gay?' and I say no, and I'm not amateur-gay either."
In the comedians' defense, broadcasts of live comedy acts usually lose something from the theatre, but this disappointing. Afterward, I realized why they advertised themselves as "The Clean Comedy Stand-Up Tour," its a handicap. There are famous clean comedians, Bill Cosby and Jerry Seinfeld come to mind immediately, but they never had to go out of their way to advertise their family-friendliness. These four aspiring comedians must have realized they could get a guaranteed audience as soon as they said it wouldn't include jokes about bestiality or Jack Kevorkian. It must have been too easy.
The other trick these guys had to sell themselves? They're "Christian Comedians." A segment of the DVD includes a specially message from the men explaining why they gave their life to Jesus Christ. Something about this doesn't sit right with me, was it necessary to explicitly state they are Christians, especially since none of their material makes reference to the saving power of Jesus Christ and the promise of eternal life? I'm an Episcopalian, and so is Robin Williams, and he doesn't find it necessary to curb his language for the sake of the show. When I was in high school, a laser tag arena opened near my house. The website had a page explaining how they are a Christian business. Christian laser tag? Were they afraid that the evangelical population of the town would think that Laser Tag was the work of Satan, and by having this explanation on their website was the only way to explain the faith behind their business? Jesus should not be a handicap.
The real irony of the Christian Comedy Tour is that the best joke was in the "Deleted Scenes" section of the DVD, which included the naughtier segments: "Some people ask me, 'are you pro-gay?' and I say no, and I'm not amateur-gay either."
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
I am going to the club, would you like to come along?
I like hip-hop music.
Hip-hop is, and has been for a while, the new rock n' roll. Its loud, fun, and danceable, the last attribute being one lost in contemporary rock music. Never underestimate the desire for people to dance; you simply cannot do that to a Dave Matthews song the way you can to 50 Cent number.
There is one strange situation that arises from the popularity of hip-hop on the top 40 charts. A popular subject matter for commercial rap music is the act of going to the club. Usually I listen to the radio when I'm in the shower in the morning, so the thought of being in a dark room filled with trendy and attractive people shaking what their mamas' gave them sounds great, but what about when you actually are in the club? Doesn't this create a bizarrely self-referential situation? How could you possibly enjoy yourself when the focal point of the experience, the music, seems to be a reference to itself? Perhaps we need more rap songs about other locations, like the traditional bar, skating rinks, or house parties. I'm from Wisconsin, we go to peoples' basements.
Well, there is one song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dDJ1OR5k34
Hip-hop is, and has been for a while, the new rock n' roll. Its loud, fun, and danceable, the last attribute being one lost in contemporary rock music. Never underestimate the desire for people to dance; you simply cannot do that to a Dave Matthews song the way you can to 50 Cent number.
There is one strange situation that arises from the popularity of hip-hop on the top 40 charts. A popular subject matter for commercial rap music is the act of going to the club. Usually I listen to the radio when I'm in the shower in the morning, so the thought of being in a dark room filled with trendy and attractive people shaking what their mamas' gave them sounds great, but what about when you actually are in the club? Doesn't this create a bizarrely self-referential situation? How could you possibly enjoy yourself when the focal point of the experience, the music, seems to be a reference to itself? Perhaps we need more rap songs about other locations, like the traditional bar, skating rinks, or house parties. I'm from Wisconsin, we go to peoples' basements.
Well, there is one song, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dDJ1OR5k34
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Money Buys Happiness
Ever since I was young, people have always told me that money does not buy happiness. I still believe these people. Currently I attend the University of Wisconsin, majoring in History, not the most money-promising major of the lot, but I don't regret it at all. There are more important things in my life than being able to drive a corvette with authentic aviator sunglasses over my eyes, and a former NFL cheerleader trophy wife that knows how to cook really good Indian food at my side, as I drive over the Golden Gate Bridge to a penthouse looking out over the peasants. I'm not saying all that stuff wouldn't be kind of nice, though.
Recently, I ran into one of my fellow high school classmates. We conversed, and I learned that she transferred to a public southern university without much national clout. When I asked her what her major was, she said, "I don't know, but that's OK," as if I was going to criticize her immediately after her statement, "I know I want to make a lot of money, though." When she said that, I felt a part of my heart die.
My entire life, people have told me, "Money does not equal happiness," but it seems a trend within my peers to contradict this old idea. Has there been some sort of new discovery that proved it wrong? A direct quantitative correlation between the size of one's pay cut and one's enjoyment of life?
Some friends and I saw the 1989 film When Harry Met Sally a few days ago. I thought the film was well acted and directed, managing to look less dated than, say, Nickelodeon's 1996 offering Goodburger. One element that annoyed one of my friends, as well as myself, is how the main characters' were exceedingly rich, but seemed obsessed with their modern romantic issues. Both Harry and Sally graduated from the University of Chicago, lived in classy New York apartments, held lucrative and secure jobs, were fairly attractive, and had no noticeable health problems. Despite all their blessings, the film presented their romantic tensions as if nothing else mattered; not all of us are bourgeois white people living in the insulated little world of New York.
After some thought, I realized When Harry Met Sally taught me an important lesson, even if you have everything, you will still find way to make yourself think that you are suffering or deprived. It's true, money doesn't buy happiness. I knew it all along.
Recently, I ran into one of my fellow high school classmates. We conversed, and I learned that she transferred to a public southern university without much national clout. When I asked her what her major was, she said, "I don't know, but that's OK," as if I was going to criticize her immediately after her statement, "I know I want to make a lot of money, though." When she said that, I felt a part of my heart die.
My entire life, people have told me, "Money does not equal happiness," but it seems a trend within my peers to contradict this old idea. Has there been some sort of new discovery that proved it wrong? A direct quantitative correlation between the size of one's pay cut and one's enjoyment of life?
Some friends and I saw the 1989 film When Harry Met Sally a few days ago. I thought the film was well acted and directed, managing to look less dated than, say, Nickelodeon's 1996 offering Goodburger. One element that annoyed one of my friends, as well as myself, is how the main characters' were exceedingly rich, but seemed obsessed with their modern romantic issues. Both Harry and Sally graduated from the University of Chicago, lived in classy New York apartments, held lucrative and secure jobs, were fairly attractive, and had no noticeable health problems. Despite all their blessings, the film presented their romantic tensions as if nothing else mattered; not all of us are bourgeois white people living in the insulated little world of New York.
After some thought, I realized When Harry Met Sally taught me an important lesson, even if you have everything, you will still find way to make yourself think that you are suffering or deprived. It's true, money doesn't buy happiness. I knew it all along.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Most Powerful Navy in the World?
Recently, my brother graduated from the Navy's Boot Camp in Great Lakes, Illinois. During the ceremony, several of the speakers mentioned, "You are a Sailor in the most powerful navy in the history of the world." I started to think after hearing this claim. What would constitute the most powerful navy ever?
Without doubt, the United States' Navy is stronger now than any navy in the past, given the great leaps in technology. But for it to be powerful, it must be able to exert control or influence over outside entities. Given this definition, could England's navy from its heyday have been more powerful? The Strength of their navy exceeded everybody else' by such a margin that England maintained a position as the world's dominant power. Before the invention of the airplane, the importance of the navy was much greater. The Navy shipped the materials, carried the troops, laid siege, and fought naval battles. England's navy was more of a cornerstone to the country's political and military power than the United States' Navy is to the US' political and military power.
England directly controlled more land, intimidated more people, and directed more influence through the use of their navy, making them more powerful than any current naval force. America could beat them now, though.
Without doubt, the United States' Navy is stronger now than any navy in the past, given the great leaps in technology. But for it to be powerful, it must be able to exert control or influence over outside entities. Given this definition, could England's navy from its heyday have been more powerful? The Strength of their navy exceeded everybody else' by such a margin that England maintained a position as the world's dominant power. Before the invention of the airplane, the importance of the navy was much greater. The Navy shipped the materials, carried the troops, laid siege, and fought naval battles. England's navy was more of a cornerstone to the country's political and military power than the United States' Navy is to the US' political and military power.
England directly controlled more land, intimidated more people, and directed more influence through the use of their navy, making them more powerful than any current naval force. America could beat them now, though.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Twenty isn't a Bad Birthday
Two years ago, I celebrated my 18th birthday by driving to my local polling place, registering to vote, and casting a ballot. That's one of the things I love about Wisconsin, same day registration.
Two days ago, I cast another ballot. Today, I turned twenty.
I believe twenty is an underrated birthday, although not as appealing as gaining the freedom to drive, watch R-rated movies, buy cigarettes, enter casinos, or perchase and consume alcohol, twenty holds a different gift: Maturity.
No longer am I a silly teenager, nor any longer can I read Catcher in the Rye and completely identify with the main character; my childish angst has been replaced by twenty-something confusion, sort of like when you try to take another step when going up the stairs, but discover too late that there isn't one.
The biggest change seems to be a shifted point of reference. Currently, I am in my second year of college. I have not been in a high school classroom for 18 months. When I attended high school, everything I did or thought about related to the high school mold of life: living with my parents, having seven hours of classes every day, highly regimented schedule, etc. By now, that life seems so far away from me, I almost want to question if I actually lived like that, or if that was just a proto-version of myself, still chained inside Plato's Cave (Rest assured, I'm not a philosophy major.) The conversations I get into now almost never make reference to the high-school model of life, and when I tell a story about the past, it tends to be about something over the past 18 months. My scope of reference has a limit, as well as an interest, in the recent past.
Twenty is an age when I realize that I am an adult, because my direct memory begins since I've been Eighteen. Still, twenty-one may have a bigger party.
Two days ago, I cast another ballot. Today, I turned twenty.
I believe twenty is an underrated birthday, although not as appealing as gaining the freedom to drive, watch R-rated movies, buy cigarettes, enter casinos, or perchase and consume alcohol, twenty holds a different gift: Maturity.
No longer am I a silly teenager, nor any longer can I read Catcher in the Rye and completely identify with the main character; my childish angst has been replaced by twenty-something confusion, sort of like when you try to take another step when going up the stairs, but discover too late that there isn't one.
The biggest change seems to be a shifted point of reference. Currently, I am in my second year of college. I have not been in a high school classroom for 18 months. When I attended high school, everything I did or thought about related to the high school mold of life: living with my parents, having seven hours of classes every day, highly regimented schedule, etc. By now, that life seems so far away from me, I almost want to question if I actually lived like that, or if that was just a proto-version of myself, still chained inside Plato's Cave (Rest assured, I'm not a philosophy major.) The conversations I get into now almost never make reference to the high-school model of life, and when I tell a story about the past, it tends to be about something over the past 18 months. My scope of reference has a limit, as well as an interest, in the recent past.
Twenty is an age when I realize that I am an adult, because my direct memory begins since I've been Eighteen. Still, twenty-one may have a bigger party.
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